Which supplements to buy.

Buying supplements is not just purchasing the cheapest, otherwise you may as well just throw them away.
I choose Omega 3 fish oil, each tablet contains 1000mg, but more importantly 300 mg of active EPA/DHA. You can take two per day. This will improve cardiac health, so protect you heart function, maintains normal vision and brain function. I bought this from Holland and barrett, however it may be cheaper to buy online from a reputable health food store.


I also take Odourless garlic oil 1000mg, this is high strength so I take one per day, to help maintain healthy cholesterol levels, and may protect against some cancers. Garlic is known to help many other conditions as well.


Vitamin D3 10ug. Please note the strength. This is a new one that I have added to my list. We get so little sunlight these days, and we need this vitamin to improve our immune system. I take one a day of this vitamin.


Finally vitamin C, my favorite 500-1000mg per day, slow release. Vitamin c in higher doses has shown to help many conditions including heart health, and protection against cancer. It can support the body's defences against all kinds of bugs and illnesses such as flu.

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New bug and measles about

At the moment there is a bug going around with effects the tummy. It would be a good idea to protect yourself in a natural way to prevent this tummy bug. You can try to stop getting over tired. Take plenty of vitamin c. You can get supplements 500-1000mg per day. Wash your hands after going to the toilet. Many people are in a hurry and just dont wash hands. Take vitamin D3 available at your health store. This vitamin is in sunshine, however our summers are not as good as they used to be, and lack of vitamin D3 can weaken the immune system. Try getting lots of exercise, just a walk can help to boost the immune system. Think in a positive way. Think of what I can do, not what I cannot do. Remember the glass is half full, not half empty.

How Do Men Grieve?

I spent a week staying with a friend whose wife died from acute myeloid leukemia two months ago. He is, of course, bereft, but shows it in ways that are not like the womenfolk I know who have lost partners. I am used to women really crying, with all their sisters, and being somewhat immobilized if work and children permit that. Women also look sad and exhausted. Women also seem to know that grieving takes time and that being lost and lonely don't mean that you're stuck and not healing. Of course this isn't true for all women, but it is for many I have known.

My friend wants to be doing "better." And by better, I think he means getting back into life with vigor. After a few days of the sanctioned mourning period, he started going back to work for hours, then days, and now weeks. He socializes with friends many evenings during the week - friends who loved them both, and now sustain him. He started doing a vigorous training program to get back in shape and is running and eating well. There are pictures of his wife all over the house and he likes to engage in conversations about her. He asks, "Don't you think I am doing better?"

I know his heart is shattered and that he misses her with his entire soul. But his ways of grieving and engaging in life I find are somewhat foreign to me. So I ask myself, and you, the question: How do men grieve? I am very interested in your thoughts.

Being Selfish

Richard has a rash on his feet. It's gray and white. It puddles mostly around his toes. It looks like pond scum. He is treating it with ointments and antibiotics. He has to steel himself to keep from scratching it. I have very little sympathy.

In fact, I am a bit disgusted. Mostly avoidant. I don't want it to get on me, anywhere. I want it to go away. And if it is on him, I want him to keep away.

I am being utterly selfish. And, it feels OK. Maybe even good.

I also know that this is about as minor an ailment as it gets. And it will go away with no harm done.

But I am asking myself, if this kind of response is in me for an insignificant thing, will it be in me for more serious health matters? Have I already been hard-hearted when he suffered with cardiac symptoms or vision problems? How awful is that?

Is it OK to be ungenerous when your sweetie is ailing?

I would tell anyone else -- of course it's OK. It's normal to have moments of wanting to run away. And it's healthy to actually get away from time to time. Replenish yourself before your well of empathy runs dry.

But right now, I don't feel as liberated as I did when I began to write this post. I think I'll go find Richard and tell him that even though I don't really care about his foot condition, I do care about him.

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Dual Diagnosis Couples

From a recent New York Times article by Tara Parker-Pope: A Couple’s Knot, Tied Tighter by Dual Diagnoses.

"....On Valentine’s Day, he learned he had Stage 3 rectal cancer..."

"Her doctor had only recently ordered a mammogram after Ms. Bond had found a lump in her breast, but it had to be delayed for a few weeks so she could wean Sadie from breast-feeding. Because she had a history of cysts, she wasn’t worried. Yet within a week of the diagnosis she learned that the cancer was Stage 4, the most advanced: it had already spread to the liver, pelvic bones and spine...."

"Having a spouse with a life-threatening illness is hard enough. But what happens when both partners get sick?"

“Our lives are not tragic,” Ms. Bond said. “We’ve always felt blessed and happy. It’s hard to take that away even in the face of something scary and seemingly insurmountable.”

"Elisa and Nathan both had similar reactions to the dual diagnoses. They didn’t immediately worry about themselves, but both worried about how they could take care of each other."

"Even so, they both say that having cancer together gives each of them unique insight into the other’s needs and challenges, and has surprisingly allowed them to spend more time with each other."

“If you’re going to be sick in bed, at least the person who is next to you is a person you enjoy being with,” Elisa said. “It’s a small thing, but it helps.”

"The shared experience helps them focus on the importance of keeping life as normal as possible."

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I am continually amazed at people's ability to cope, endure, and even grow closer under the hardest of circumstances. I know having one partner in the couple be ill can be so difficult. The situation described in the article sounds overwhelming (and at times I bet it is), yet this couple copes.

Are you in a relationship in which both partners have a serious health condition? What is that like for you? How do you negotiate dealing with daily practical demands; and how do you deal with providing each other with support when you're both feeling the strains of illness?

3 Pieces of Advice

Once in a while, I get a phone call from someone who found my blog or an article I wrote or is a friend of a friend of a friend. She or her partner has been living with pain or illness and is looking for guidance. Today, I was contacted today by the well partner of a woman who was recently diagnosed with CRPS (complex regional pain syndrome). He wanted advice, ideas, help, hope, anything.

As we spoke, I realized I have three messages that I tend to emphasize. Here they are:

1. There is always room for hope.
2. Keep searching. If one approach doesn't work, find another one. There is always something else to try.
3. Find the great doctors (and practitioners). Good just isn't good enough. Find the great ones. And, for me, the great ones are often those who are both clinicians and researchers.
   

What key messages or lessons do you offer to others (or to yourself and your partner) that keep you going or serve as anchor points for living with illness?