Finding Connection Within the Whirlwind

I don't know about you, but more and more of the people I know are getting sick.

I have a dear friend who was recently diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia. Another friend's 65 year old husband is sliding quietly into end stage Alzheimer's. And there are too many women friends who are being treated for breast cancer.

The sadness of it is a weight we all carry, mostly separately, and at special times, together.

I grow more and more aware of how the battering ram of illness smashes down hard on couples and leaves partners flattened and afraid, without instructions for how to use the strength of relationship to build resiliency for facing the trials of illness.

The flattened partners are quickly scooped up by the medical whirlwind, and their own voices are lost in the loudness of clinical talk about diagnosis, surgery, chemotherapy, prognosis, trials, and options. There is hardly room to breath, let alone time to connect and remember the power of love and shared memories. There is no time to grow into awareness of being a couple, of not really being alone, when isolating words like cancer, stroke, heart attack are surrounding you.

I can remember times when I felt that the world had shrunk to just two points - me and my pain. There was no horizon, no tomorrow. Just this terrible duality of self and hurt. I thought nothing could reach me. Then Richard would come home from work and we'd sit on the couch in silence, leaning against each other. The world would shift, sometimes only for a few minutes. I felt accompanied. That there was a shoulder next to mine helping me carry the weight of pain.

There can be so much energy in the couple connection. Even if the relationship has grown dull, illness can sometimes compel alliance. When faced with a frightening diagnosis or mysterious symptoms, be silent for a moment and look into each others' eyes. Hold hands. Maintain contact within the whirlwind. Use each other as anchor points.

Have you been able to find moments of connection with your partner? How do you do it?

How to improve your health naturally

Getting rid of body toxins is essential for your health. If it can be done the natural way so much the better. I found this article which I am sure will produce better health.

Bathing is as essential as anything we do as humans, yet baths frequently get overlooked in any list of healing habits. When prepared for and taken properly, a bath can relieve your toxic load -- as well as mental and emotional stress -- easily and at very little expense. The bath is your missing tool to better health.
As a longtime practitioner in the field of wellness and longevity medicine, I've found that empowering people to take conscious care of their physical bodies helps to ensure that their health care program succeeds. Yet there is one area, as essential as anything we do as humans, which frequently gets overlooked in any list of healing habits: bathing. I don't mean merely washing your face, underarms and private areas; but more specifically the act -- and the art -- of total cleansing, by soaking and renewing the skin in the bath.
I come to the wisdom of bathing culturally as well as medically. I am Korean by birth. In Asia, the bath has an ancient heritage as a purification rite that is both practical and remedial. Growing up in Korea, my first experiences of bathing were of going with my grandmother to the local communal bath house. She had no bathroom of her own, and wouldn't have thought that she needed one. I learned about bathing and hygienic skills from her at two years of age, with all the ritual attached to that journey: carrying my own bucket, towel and scrubbing cloths; the stages of cleansing; and the beautiful act of generations coming together, without vanity or inhibition, helping to take care of each other.
The key steps of traditional Korean bathing are easy to adopt, but they change the bath completely. The norm today, or at least the standard, in many Western countries, is to wash our bodies a lot -- and not in the bath at all, but in the shower. Past the age of childhood, taking a bath is typically seen in terms of indulgence more than hygiene. A bath is virtually a psychological act. It is about stealing time away from the daily rush, for the sake of relaxation, solitude, sensuality, retreat or luxury. Still, a really phenomenal amount of health benefit gets lost in the migration from bath to shower, and from the spirit of cleansing to the behavior of clean.
The medical truth is that bathing is one of the most systemically corrective things that you can do for your body. When prepared for and taken properly, a bath can reduce real toxic as well as mental and emotional stress. The warm water in which you submerge gently stimulates detoxification through the skin and other organs of elimination (the kidneys, liver, colon and lungs) by inducing lymphatic flow, improving circulation, calming inflammation and encouraging sweating. Add scrubbing to the process as your dead skin layers naturally slough off in water, and you remove innumerable pollutants and metabolic waste products that have been collected there. Remember, the skin is the largest organ for detoxification and therefore a first line of defense for your body.
And we need to purify our skin more than ever in modern life. Toxins that are found in the skin include, but are not limited to: benzene, toluene, formaldehyde, styrene, deodorant, car exhaust, hydrocarbons, smog, household chemicals, perfumes, cosmetics, heavy metals including mercury, cadmium, aluminum, arsenic, lead, and nickel, dust mites, dust mite droppings, fungus, mold, bacteria, virus, parasites, pesticides, fungicides, herbicides, and hormones. It makes sense to rid the body of these elements as regularly as possible, in order to manage the toxic load we all carry to varying degrees.
Bathing has always helped our bodies do that, easily and at very little expense. In effect, a proactive bath once a week can replace certain types of doctor's treatments, spa visits or other more invasive detox modalities.
I'd like to share some basic principles to help you transform bathing into a healing resource. All you need at home is a bathtub, a scrubbing mitt or cloth, a bucket and gentle, organic soap. Another option would be to find a local Korean sauna/bath house to visit on a regular basis, where you can soak and be scrubbed by an expert in the traditional manner. I've visited wonderful Korean bath saunas in many cities, and many offer hot rooms and pools of different temperatures, to intensify the ritual of cleansing. Following custom, these are communal places where you will have to let go of modesty. Most offer different sessions for men and women. Check your local city guide for information, or, you can visit my website for a list of reputable, classical Korean bath saunas across the country that I personally have experienced and highly recommend.
One note of caution: Bathing in this way is a form of mild detoxification, which involves raising your body temperature and increasing your metabolic rate through the steps of skin purification. For any bath or detoxifying regimen, get your doctor's approval first if you have a physical condition or you are in a weak state. Contraindications may include, but are not limited to, diabetes, low or high blood pressure, heart disease, kidney or liver disease, adrenal exhaustion, recent illness, pregnancy, nervous system deficiencies and severe fatigue. Also, if you have just been out in the sun and gotten a burn or even a tan, scrubbing is not recommended.
1. Wash your body first. This is when to take that shower! It doesn't make sense to enter a clean bath with dirty feet and a sweaty body. The bath is not for washing, but for soaking in fresh pure water in order to open the systems of the body and exfoliate old layers of skin. Plus, in order to exfoliate properly in your bath, all oils and creams need to be completely removed from your skin first. Washing first can also reduce contamination and prevent possible bladder infections when in the bath. Not cleaning before bathing is a major omission in the Western concept of the bath.
As part of a general skin care regimen, I recommend that my patients use a probiotic soap for best cleansing. Like oral probiotics and cultured foods for your digestion such as Korean kimchi or yogurt, this type of soap is naturally anti-microbial and works on the skin in a similar way: The presence of good bacteria helps to diminish the ill effects of the bad. In his book, "Life on Man," bacteriologist Theodor Rosebury estimates that 50 million individual bacteria live on the average square centimeter (5x107/cm2) of human skin! Probiotic soap will optimize healthy skin flora and help remove harmful pathogens as well as dirt and sweat.
2. Make sure your bathtub has been cleaned with natural, nontoxic products. Draw your bath at a comfortably hot, but not scalding temperature. You want to feel very warm, to the point that you may be perspiring from your face, but not so hot that you want to get out of the tub to cool off. If you have a Jacuzzi tub with jets, you can use them for soothing muscles.
3. Stay in the bath for at least 20-30 minutes. You can stop here after your soak, and still derive beneficial, passive healing from the bath. Dry yourself vigorously with a clean towel to add a light amount of lymphatic stimulation.
Do not scrub after 8 or 9 p.m., as it may keep you awake. If you do choose to exfoliate, check your skin after about 15 minutes of soaking. Can you feel some debris sloughing off? If so, your skin will be ready soon to be scrubbed, to remove all the toxins which are embedded in the dead outer layers. Sweating also brings these toxins to the surface.
4. To begin exfoliating, finish your bath and jump back in the shower. Keep your body wet; the room should still be warm enough from your bath that you should not feel chilled or uncomfortable. If you do not have a separate shower, drain your bathtub and sit inside the tub to scrub there. It is best if you have a stool to sit on. You should have your small plastic pail or shallow bucket to fill with fresh hot water, a scrubbing mitt or cloth, and your mild or probiotic soap at hand.
5. Scrub each section of your body and then fill the bucket with hot water and splash it clean. However, do not scrub: all genital and rectal areas, eyelids and lips, or your whole face if you have sensitive skin. You can start from your feet and go up or from the arms and work down. Use linear strokes, back and forth: do not make circles. Practicing will show you how much pressure you need to use. Notice areas where you will always find dead skin, such as the back or inside of your forearms. Be aware that rinsing in the traditional way with a bucket is gentler on your skin and body than using a shower spray. Never use cold water before or during scrubbing. This will cause the skin to tighten so that it will not slough off, and may cause pain. You may be perspiring during the scrubbing process, or you might feel a bit of energy releasing. This is all normal. It just means your body is at an elevated metabolic state to aid in the detoxification process.
6. After one sweep over the entire body, you can go over any area again with a lighter touch to ensure you have removed all the dead skin. Your skin should feel baby soft, slightly pink with color, and vitalized. Wash your body one more time with soap, and rinse. Dry yourself well, and liberally apply a nourishing moisturizer to both body and face.
7. Lay down if you can for 15 minutes to relax and return to your regular temperature and heart rate. You will feel invigorated, clean, fresh and ready to go!
I often prescribe additional types of bath therapies for specific health conditions, using different medicinal salts, herbs and detoxifying agents. In future articles, I will discuss how to create bath programs for healthy and preventive skin care, chronic illness, injury, heavy metal toxicity and other ailments, as well as ways to assure that your bath water itself is pure and clean.
Happy bathing!




How to be happy                  Ways to improve your health                 How can I get better     

New natural cure for high blood pressure

 Natural cures have always been in the news. Coleus is a natural way to treat conditions such as high blood pressure.For many years doctors have been warning us about the dangers of hypertension. They know that if left untreated it can cause serious issues within the body. Many people die because they have failed to take action against this disease. It is not uncommon for people to develop angina, heart disease or even heart failure because they have ignored their blood pressure numbers.
The fact is though that the medical community does not have the corner on the market for medical knowledge. The treatments for high blood pressure are often unpleasant because of side effects and the like. That is why the natural cures for high blood pressure are gaining more and more popularity. With the natural world you have little to worry about when it comes to side effects.
Coleus is the newest weapon in the fight against high blood pressure. While this herb, sometimes known as Coleus Forskohlii, has been in use for other treatments over many years, it is just being discovered for its use as one of the home remedies for high blood pressure. Through the studies that have been conducted the use of coleus is very promising when looking to get those numbers under control.
Coleus works with the body itself to help it lower the blood pressure on its own. This is something that is rather unique. Using the defense system that is located within the cells themselves, coleus works to improve the circulation and therefore lower blood pressure.
To this day there are further studies being conducted. This means that more benefits may be found. It is suggested the coleus be taken on a daily basis to ensure that all of the benefits from this natural supplement work within the body.
This herb looks like a beautiful potted flower. There are many color variations of it but can mostly be found in a purple and white color. There are other health benefits associated with this herb. For example, in liquid form, a 1% solution of it can be used to reduce eye pressure for up to 5 hours. So if you suffer from glaucoma, you can find some comfort in using coleus.
It is also found that this herb stimulates the fat metabolism. So if you are looking to lose weight in hopes of controlling hypertension, then this can be the perfect supplement for you. As you can see, it has many great, healthy uses.

Treatment of high cholesterol 

The Bagel Man

I have a black and white photograph, entitled, "The Bagel Man," hanging in my kitchen. It's a picture taken in Israel 30 years ago of a rotund man about 60 years old wearing a wrinkled, greyed apron. He is standing in a doorway and all around him are bagels -- on countertops, hanging from a rope above the doorway, in a basket on his arm. His expression is one of acceptance. Every time I look at it I am reminded of my father. Today is the one year anniversary of my father's death.

Every Sunday my father would get up early and go to the bagel place -- that's what we called it, the bagel place. It was actually much more than that. It was a full fledged Jewish delicatessen, one that only existed in Queens (NYC) and now only in my memory. It had acres of display cases filled with smoked fish, roasted turkeys and chickens, corned beef, tongue, cheeses, pickled herring in cream sauce with onions, pickled cows feet, sour pickles, chopped liver, stuffed cabbage, kasha varnishkes, cheese cake with cherries on top, chocolate and cinnamon babka, Entemanns donuts, marbled and chocolate covered halva, and a curtain of salamis hanging from the ceiling.

My father bought bagels (plain and salted), lox, cream cheese, one white fish, and a babka or donuts or halva. When he got home, my mother would lay out a display of all his bounty on the dining room table. It was Jewish, still life, performance art. And we all knew our roles - to eat with gusto, share the New York Times and randomly comment out loud on what we were reading (I nabbed the magazine section), and all this while watching football or tennis or baseball in the background.

The eating was part of the art and we each had our own genres. I sliced a bagel in half and pulled out the doughy interior to make more room for piling on different ingredients: first a healthy slather of cream cheese; then a very thinly sliced onion and an even more thinly sliced tomato; finally I draped two strips of lox over the top. It is the most delicious thing I have ever eaten.

Today is one year since my father died. It feels at most 5 months. You were my nourisher Dad. Thank you for your wonderful generosity and presence. I miss you.

Alternative cure for blood and breast cancer

I looked on the internet for natural ways to cure cancer, and found this wonderful remedy. It uses all natural products that will not halm you.

This remedy has been popular in many hispanic countries and many people have claimed that it works wonderfully. Fray Romano Zago –a Brazilian fray who came up with this nice remedy and has used it for several years to cure people successfully– says that this remedy works for all types of cancer (skin, lungs, blood, breast, ovary, etc.). Some people say that it's very effective, even for cancer in terminal stage.

Look for an Aloe vera plant that is 3 years old or more. Clean 2 big leaves (or 3 small leaves) and remove the serrated margins (what look like thorns).

Cut the Aloe leaves in small pieces and put them in a blender or a mixer. Add half kilogram or 500 mL pure honey and 3 tablespoons of whisky (cognac, tequila or other kind of alcoholic beverage would be good too; this is a vessel dilator).

Mix everything until until you obtain a viscous mass. It is ready. You don't need to strain the remedy (just be careful that there are no sharp leaf margins left). Put it in a jar or container.
Directions For Use: Shake the jar very well. Take a big tablespoon, 3 times per day, 15 minutes before each meal. Do this for 10 days. Have a medical check to see if the tumor has reduced. If you don't achieve the desired results after this number of days, repeat the treatment a second time, or a third, or a fourth time until you get cured.
Side Effects: It might produce skin abscesses (but this is a sign that it is working).
Expected Results: In one week you will start seeing results.
Expected Results Within: 1 week

Holistic cures    Illness and disease    Lesser known herbs
Prevent cancer    Wellness ideas    Feel better

The Holidays, Already!

I don't know about you but I'm already feeling the holiday "dreads." Invitations, cholesterol masquerading as food, rivers of alcohol, late nights. I can feel my pain receptors begin to ignite just thinking about how to take care of myself over the next few months.

Other than the abandon and the gluttony, I also worry about letting others down if I have to bow out of an engagement I committed to because of pain. And I worry about letting myself down if I overdo things and risk doing what I know (but don't want to acknowledge) might cause a pain surge.

I do lean on Richard to be the voice of sound judgment. I ask him to provide the balance when I am strung out on the line between yearning to ignore risk and just indulge, and avoiding all social activity because I fear a relapse.

But I don't make it easy for him. When he is the voice of caution, I resist. I say, "It's the holidays, after all. Why can't I act like a normal person once a year?" When he is the voice of indulgence I shrink away and hide in a corner. "I can't possibly go out three nights this week. I'll crash."

So I hope maybe this holiday season I can find the balance between quarantine and hedonism.

What are your holiday challenges? How do you and your partner get through the holidays?

Celebrating the Ordinary

Richard and I took a mini-vacation last week in New York City. I grew up there but hadn't been back to visit for a long time. A few attempts had to be canceled because of a relapse in my pain condition.

Growing up in NYC meant that I calibrated my energy level to that of the City. Walking fast, talking fast, always scanning the environment for dangers and treasures, absorbing large chunks of stimuli without gagging -- all these became routine for me. And when I return to NYC, I effortlessly fall into these rhythms. Whereas New England feels a bit too tight and California feels a bit too loose; NYC is a perfect fit.

This means that it is easy for me to slip into automatic pilot mode and slither invisibly through the crowds and see only a blur of concrete and color around me.

But this trip was special -- because it didn't have to be canceled. I spent four inspiring days walking the streets, holding my sweetie's hand, and paying attention to the world all around me -- a world that in the past was muted by familiarity, and in recent times was a world eclipsed by pain.

This trip was a gift, and I noticed everything. Here's just one half hour:

10:15 am -- I get on the subway heading downtown.
10:20 -- A group of five men, dressed in mariachi outfits, board the subway car, play guitars, and sing Guantanamera.
10:30 -- I get off the subway and start walking towards Union Square where there is a marvelous farmers market.
10:35 -- I walk by a large, squat man shouting with a classic New York City-Tony Soprano accent into a cell phone: "If you don't get that f-ing sh-t to me by f-ing tomorrow I'll blow your f-ing head off."
10:40 -- I continue walking and look across the street where I see three people walking and laughing. One of them is wearing a costume rabbit head with large cartoonish ears.
10:45 -- I meet Richard in Union Square and we share a perfect apple.

What a glorious, ordinary, pain-free day in the City! Celebrating the ordinary not only gives me a lift in the moment, it replenishes the reservoir of great memories that help get me through the more painful days.