How Do You Deal With Intimacy When You Hurt Too Much?

And not only when you hurt too much, but when you are tired all the time, and your meds dull your libido.

A sex therapist I interviewed for my book (to be released in Jan 2011) about couples and illness said that not all intimacy has to be: "Insert penis in vagina and shake." Intimacy at its core is about giving and receiving physical pleasure, ideally accompanied by emotional closeness. This latter recipe can be achieved in many ways. Sexual touching can happen anywhere on the body.

But sometimes the well partner may just want intercourse. What then? And sometimes the ill partner may want intercourse, but is physically unable to engage. What then?

The path to a resolution will be different for each couple. Each couple's sexuality and emotionality is unique to them. But the path to getting to some resolution requires open and honest communication. No matter how hard it is to talk about such intimate matters.

If, at the end of the day, you still want to stand, or sit, or lay together - you have to tell each other what feels good and what doesn't. And you have to talk about what you miss and what you want, and how you might get it, together. And what about giving each other permission to get what you need outside the relationship? is that OK?

If you don't talk to each other about your intimacy needs, they will not go away. They can turn into an invisible barrier that can erode your sense of closeness in other areas.

I think this is one of the most difficult terrains for couples to navigate. What have been your experiences of dealing with the intimacy side of living with illness in your relationship?

Prevention of disease is better than cure.

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One way natural health can help people is by preventing illness and disease using natural products. Natural cures are being discovered daily. Seaweed is one that has many therapeutic benefits to health.

Seaweed is a superfood and there are more than 2,500 varieties. They are a good source of protein and dietary fibre. They also contain up to 20 times the vitamin and mineral content of vegetables that grow on the land.

Seaweed contains vitamin B12, a lack of this vitamin can cause fatigue, depression, numbness and tingling. Seaweed is also a rich source of alginic acid, which helps the body rid of toxic heavy metals such as lead. In addition it contains compounds that may help to prevent cancer.

Nori, for example, which is a variety of seaweed, is rich in the anti-oxidant beta-carotene which like all anti-oxidants, can neutralize harmful molecules known as free radicals before they cause the DNA damage that may eventually lead to malignant tumours.

Seaweed is very popular in Asia, this may help to explain why cancer rates are just a fraction of what they are here in the UK.

Seaweed is full of salt. If you need to limit your sodium intake, due to high blood pressure, for example. Then soak the leaves first.

Benefits of vitamin P Unusual remedies Healing cancer naturally

Do You Play Around With Your Medications?

I have such an ambivalent relationship with my meds. They are my hero and my accuser.

They accuse me of still living with a chronic pain condition. Their little pink and yellow and sometimes blue fingers point at me and say, "You thought you escaped, that pain would be no more. But pain is just underneath the surface of the numbness we provide. Mess with us and you invite pain to step up."

And my meds are my hero. They protect me from my true nemesis -- pain. They are always there for me. And when I let them, they do their job, ceaselessly, heroically.

So why do I keep messing with them. I continually try to get them down to the next lower level, and then the next lower level. I cut them into halves and quarters. Then I scrape off molecules from the quarters until there's only a few nano-particles are left. The more I can pare away from my meds, the more healed I feel I am.

Not true. Maybe in some alternate universe, but not in ours. I always drop down a teeny bit too low and smack up against a relapse. And the relapse isn't reparable simply by going back up on meds by one step. The relapse soon becomes a cascade of pain that requires that I go way back up to the top of the medication mountain.

So I climb back up, take the highest level of meds, and am grateful that they work to take away the pain. But I carry my pick-ax with me. On the ready to chip away at the med mountain as soon as I stabilize.

Meanwhile, Richard is calling out words of encouragement to me to. "Don't worry, you'll get better."

Do you play these games with your medications? What are your reasons?

New wonder drugs on the way

How long will it be before we see new cures for illness and disease?. The world of natural healing has helped many people to ease their complaint. I found the following news article which you may be interested to read, which outlines new drugs that may cure your illness.

Cancer vaccine
TWO cervical cancer vaccines are now en route to the UK. Gardasil, which has already been given to Australian girls, is the world's first cancer vaccine and will protect young women from the strains of HPV (human papillomavirus) known to cause cervical cancer.
Cevarix, a similar vaccine, is hot on its heels. HPV is passed on through sex and it's hoped that immunising girls before they become sexually active could reduce the UK death rate from 1,093 to just 262 cases a year.
ESTIMATED TIME OF ARRIVAL: Gardasil has just been granted a European licence and cevarix is expected to get its licence early next year. The Government must then decide whether all 12-year-old girls should be routinely vaccinated.

Cancer cream
EVERY year thousands of UK women have surgery to remove pre-cancerous cells from their cervixes. But soon this condition may be treatable with a cream.
Experts at the University of Manchester have found that a drug given orally to HIV patients is effective against certain strains of HPV, the cause of most cervical cancers.
Group leader Dr Ian Hampson explains: "Research has only been done on cells in the lab so far so now we need to start clinical trials on women. However the fact that the drug is already licensed for use for HIV will speed up the process."
ESTIMATED TIME OF ARRIVAL: Three to four years.

Inhaled insulin
DIABETICS whose conditions can't be controlled by tablets need injections. But now Exubera, a new form of inhaled insulin, promises a viable alternative to the needle. It's hailed as "one of the biggest steps forward since the discovery of insulin in 1992" by charity Diabetes UK.
Studies show that a fear of or reluctance to use needles makes sufferers delay treatment for an average of four years, leading to complications such as heart disease, kidney failure or blindness.
However, there are fears that drug advisory body Nice (National Institute for health and Clinical Excellence) may only recommend its use for patients who have physical or mental problems. The drug isn't suitable for smokers, anyone with breathing problems or children.
ESTIMATED TIME OF ARRIVAL: Technically, it was launched last month but most doctors are waiting for Nice guidance, due in October, before prescribing.

Anti-smoking pill
CHAMPIX works by mimicking the effects of nicotine which eases withdrawal symptoms, and by blocking feelgood effects should you weaken and sneak a fag.
Clinical trials on 2,000 chronic smokers found that Champix helped nearly half quit after 12 weeks compared with just 30 per cent receiving the standard drug Zyban. Side-effects include nausea, vomiting, headache, insomnia and flatulence but that seems a small price for kicking a habit that has a one-in-two chance of killing you.
However, Deborah Arnott, director of anti-smoking charity Ash warns: "It's an exciting breakthrough but not a guaranteed cure-all."
ESTIMATED TIME OF ARRIVAL: Could be available on prescription in time for your New Year's resolutions.

Anti-blindness drug
AGE-RELATED blindness affects a quarter of a million people in the UK and the wet form (or AMD, age-related macular degeneration), which affects 10 per cent of sufferers, can cause you to lose your sight in just three months. Lucentis, which was passed by the US drug-approval body in June this year, treats the underlying cause of AMD by inhibiting a protein that leads to this type of sight loss.
ESTIMATED TIME OF ARRIVAL: Could be available on the NHS next year.

Pill to stop stammering
THE first pill designed to stop stammering is undergoing clinical trials at the University of California. Pagoclone, which is already used to treat anxiety, is thought to work by boosting a chemical brain messenger that plays a key role in speech function. In trials so far, more than half those treated experienced a significant decrease in stammering. "It's encouraging because it appears to have few of the side-effects such as drowsiness, weight gain, mood swings and uncontrolled movement that have been associated with previous potential drugs," says a British Stammering Association spokesperson.
ESTIMATED TIME OF ARRIVAL: Two to three years if further trials go well.


New natural cures, Healing cancer, Alternative solutions to disease,

Natural uses of vitamin P

Bioflavonoids or vitamin P as it is also known are complex compounds closely associated with vitamin C. You will sometimes see bioflavonoids combined with vitamin C when you buy vitamin C supplements. You may already know from some of my older posts how effective higher doses of vitamin C have been inrelation to my health, in dealing with various illness and complaints that I have suffered.

Bioflavonoids enhance the effectiveness of vitamin C and is a potent antioxidant. Together with vitamin C they strengthen the capillaries and help prevent excessive menstrual bleeding. They are also anti-viral and anti-inflammatory, protect from free radicals and inhibit histamine release.

Bioflavonoids have  potent anti-carcinogenic activity, which has been shown to inhibit the growth of several types of cancer cells, including breast cancer, ovarian cancer and leukaemia. Onions and garlic are a rich source of quercetin, a bioflavonoid which has been found to be effective in healing wounds, preventing diabetic cataracts, and treating oral herpes.

Natural cancer treatment, Natural cures for cancer, treating cancer naturally, alternative ways to treat cancer.


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More unknown remedies that could cure

Jatropha stimulosa is a poisonous plant which grows in the southern areas of America. However it's seeds are known to have some natural medicinal properties which could help to cure diseases such as cancer. It was reccomended, by a doctor as an alternative treatment for syphilis.

Jatropha stimulosa is commonly known as bull nettle, and it's seeds can be used as a natural remedy. The latex of Jatropha contains an alkaloid known as "Jetrophine"  and although research is being done into use as an alternative bioenergy, medicinal research is looking into it's properties as an anti-cancerous cure.

It is without doubt that this unusual remedy needs more research, however early signs are optermistic about it being a leading cure for cancer and other illness.


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This Week's Grand Rounds

is up at the Health Business Blog. Have a read.

Do natural cures work?

What do you think?, do natural cures work for you?. I am always looking for new ideas and ways to use alternative health, and would rather go down the natural health remedy route, than the conventional way. My own personal experience of natural remedies has been mixed. The most succesful supplement has to be high doses of vitamin c which as you may know from older posts I have used for the treatment of flu type viruses and illness. Vitamin c in higher doses is yet to prove that it can protect me from heart disease and cancer's, I hope that it will.

5-HTP has been very useful in the treatment of anxiety, but only in the early stages. I have tried other home remedies such a valerian with only limited success, it may be that such remedies as valerian need to be given more time to work, say three months or more, I did not give the remedy that long, so I may try it again in the future.

Garlic supplements in higher doses may be useful in the protection against illness such as viruses, high blood pressure and high levels of bad cholesterol, but again I cannot be sure that garlic is helping.

What are your experiences of natural healing using alternative ways such as remedies and supplements, please reply in comments leaving you url. Thank you.


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The Guilt of Illness

The sick partner feels guilty for being sick. For changing the game plan of the relationship. For not being able to do the things s/he used to, things ordinary couples get to do without a second thought. For having a hard day. For eating up savings that should have gone to the kids' college fund or retirement.

The well partner feels guilty for being well. For being in a different place than the ill partner. For being able to still socialize, do sports, even have some fun. For not being able to make the ill partner better. For feeling angry, afraid, and exhausted. For wishing this would all stop and get back to the way things used to be.

What's the benefit of carrying so much guilt? Not much.

Guilt doesn't act as a bridge, creating a conduit between two struggling people. Guilt can't repair health. Guilt doesn't bring laughter into the room.

Guilt turns off the lights and shuts the door.

Two guilt-ridden partners means two people hunkered down in their separate corners, hiding from the light in each others' eyes. Each person, alone, feeling bad over something they had no hand in making.

What's the way out of guilt?

Stand up, hold each other, and jointly say, "This sucks." Not, "I'm bad," or "You're bad." but rather: "The situation we are in is terrible. We are both so sad that this is changing the future we had planned. I'll be with you when you are hurting. I'll give you space when you need it."

Where do you feel guilt? How does it affect you? What do you do about it?

This Week's Grand Rounds Collection of Health Care Blog Posts

Check it out at Dr. Anonymous. Many diverse and interesting posts.

Uncommon remedy for heart disease and strokes.

Liquidambar, or Sweet gum as it is also known is a diciduous tree found in North America. Tinctures can be extracted from its bark and used as an unusual remedy for natural healing. The fruits contain beturonic acid, a substance that appears to protect the liver from damage by extremely toxic dry-cleaning chemicals such as Carbon tetrachloride.

Traditionally the fruits are used in Taiwan for liver problems and hepatitis.

Liquidambar has analgesic, anti-inflammatory, and anti-rheumatic properties and thus promotes healing. In North America it is used to heal wounds and for skin complaints. It is interesting to note that Liquidambar has other medicinal uses, such as in treating strokes, infantile convulsions, coma, heart disease and pruritus. Externally it can be mixed with olive oil for scabies.

You can buy Liquidambar tablets online, although you would be best advised to check with your natural therapist first.




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