Saturday, October 31, 2009

The Shape of Grief

I've been thinking a lot about grief lately. Back in the days of my psychology training, we learned that grief follows a predictable pattern and happens in progressive stages:
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance (based on the work of Kubler-Ross.

That's not the tune my grief over my father's recent death dances to. For the first week after he died, I was just plain exhausted. This was a completely physical experience. Being with him in the hospital for ten hours a day for two weeks with all chakras wide open left me empty. Once I got home, I lived on the couch.

I guess I expected that I would cry most of the time. Dramatic meltdowns of wracking sobs eventually tapering down to trickles and sniffles. Or at least an hour's worth of steady tears running down my face. Didn't happen.

What did happen was that I would stumble over some flicker of a memory from his hospitalization at random, incongruous moments. While riding the exercise bike or cooking scrambled eggs. I would suddenly be abducted by this memory - staring into his blue eyes; wiping slow tears from his face; hearing doctors use words like failure and damage; watching his chest rise with his final three breaths.

These snatches of memory would prick open some swollen balloon of sadness, and deep sobs would would burst out. Sobs from the chest, that lasted a minute, maybe two. Then back to pedaling or cooking.

It's been a little over two week since he died, and even though I was by his side, I still don't know how to know that he's dead. I don't know how to let his death change my world. Is this strange?

Thinking about grief has also led me to ask what are the social allowances for grief.

We are expected to grieve over a death or a divorce. But we are not given a mourning period for serious illness or chronic pain. After diagnosis, we are expected to jump on the treatment treadmill and keep running after the magic pill. My father was praised for being such a fighter and for not complaining about his infirmities. Is it ok to cry about losing the pieces of life illness and pain take away? Is it ok to mourn for the trip to Paris you won't get to make or the mountains you'll no longer climb? Is it ok to cry because illness had made you too tired or pained to love your family and friends in the way you want to?

Must we be uncomplaining soldiers fighting the good fight? Or can we make room and rituals for grieving over the losses of illness and pain.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Grand Rounds is Up

This week the collection of posts from the health care blogosphere is up at Codeblog: Tales of a Nurse. Have a read.

Monday, October 26, 2009

A Fable: The King & the Lost Family

This is a story that came to me as I sat next to my father's hospital bed. I have no idea where it came from. It is not a story I had ever read or heard. I just told it to him as he lay alert but with eyes closed. I said, "Dad, I have a story to tell you." This is what came out.

A Fable: The King and the Lost Family:
An Homage to Jewish Mysticism and The Rocky Horror Picture Show

A family, father, mother, daughter, and son, are driving together in a car. They are in a remote area, heading to the ocean for a vacation. It is night time and a fierce rain is falling. The father can barely see the road through the rain pounding on the windscreen. Around the next bend the father spots the lights of a great house. He decides to drive there and see if the family can find shelter for the night.

The father knocks on the door. The family waits, shivering in the cold relentless rain. Finally, they hear footsteps and watch the doorknob turn. The door creaks open and a man invites them inside.

The man is wearing the most beautiful velvet purple cloak. On his head is a gold crown adorned with rubies and emeralds. His smile and the tender look in his eyes tell the family that they are safe from the storm. He explains to the family that he is the king of this region and they are welcome to stay with him in his castle for as long as they like.

The family enters into a great hall. They look around and see tapestries covering the walls that seem to tell a story of a hero’s journey. The ceiling looks like it is made of obsidian flecked with gold. It sparkles like a clear winter night sky. The air holds traces of lavender and fallen rose petals. A soft warm breeze dries their clothes and whispers words of comfort into their ears.

The king suddenly claps his hands. Servants dressed in gleaming white uniforms enter the hall. Each servant carries an enormous silver platter with a domed cover on it. At a signal from the King each servant uncovers his dish. The sweet and pungent aromas entice the family. Each family member finds exactly what they most hunger for. The father finds roasted meat. The mother finds sweet potatoes covered with a marshmallow cinnamon glaze. The daughter finds a salad of heirloom tomatoes, golden beets, and fresh basil. The son finds crisp, tangy chicken wings. The servants set the platters down on a long oak table.

The family eats until they can eat no more. A knight dressed in a red satin doublet quilted with chain mail points toward a simple wooden door. The family passes through the door and finds themselves in a vast library. The walls are covered with shelves that hold books from floor to ceiling. The family circles the room slowly and sees books by their favorite authors glow as if a light were shining on them.

The King is seated on a purple throne near the east wall of the library. He beckons to the family. They notice that there are four chairs near the King. The father sits on the blue chair; the mother sits on the brown one; the daughter sits on the green one; and the son sits on the yellow one.

The King begins to tell them about his kingdom. “My kingdom is far away, but very close to your heart,” he says. “It is a land that has known only peace for centuries. It is a beautiful land with sweet, cool blue rivers, fields of tall green grass; soil that is deep brown and so fertile that it grows all crops; and a yellow sun that warms the people with love and kindness.”

The King’s voice grows quieter and quieter. It becomes a lullaby the family has known all their lives. His kingdom turns into a dream they had when they were little children and had forgotten.

To the family’s surprise, the King asks the father if he would like to journey with him to his kingdom. The King says to the family, “There is no need for you to worry –the father will only be gone a short while and you will join him soon enough. The father will build a big house that will some day be your new home. And while the father is gone you can remain in my realm as my honored guests.”

The father kisses his family good-bye and stands next to the King. They vanish, as if they stepped through a rift in the air.

In an instant, they arrive in the Kingdom. The father sees all the wonders the King had described - the rivers, the grass, the fields of thriving crops, and the golden sun. The father also sees something, way off in the distance, something the King had not spoken of. He sees people slowly approaching, singing wordless songs. He knows these people but he cannot yet say their names.

The King leads the father to a hill. They climb the hill and on the top the father sees a large flat square of land within a grove of eucalyptus trees. From this land, the father can see the far away ocean and can even smell the salt water in the air. The father however is puzzled. He does not know what to do on this land. The King explains, “This is to be your new home.” The people are coming to help you build your house here.”

As the people draw closer, the father begins to recognize them and know their names – Nana, Poppy, Hilda, Davey, Shirley, and more. They are bringing cedar planks, tools, nails, glass – everything the father needs to build his house. These people welcome the father with long hugs and beautiful smiles. The father and his people begin the building.

The father is so happy in this Kingdom and so absorbed in his work that he looses all track of time. He cannot tell whether seconds or years have gone by when one day, he looks north toward the ocean and sees newcomers walking towards his house, his house which is now seven stories high, with eighteen rooms, and huge windows that look out in
all directions.

The newcomers walk slowly, as if they are lost and searching for signs. As they draw closer, the father realizes he knows their names and calls to them. They run in the direction of his voice.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

RESISTANCE TO DISEASE

Astragalus is a traditional Chinese herb, its root was found to increase resistance to disease by fortifying the immune system. For example, it increases the body's secretion of interferon, which fights viruses. According to Chinese studies, astragalus reduces susceptibility to colds and their duration.

Astragalus is sometimes used together with echinacea and ginseng, for use in degenerative conditions of ageing such as heart disease, cancer and arthritis. Since it is a diuretic, astragalus can be useful to reduce water retention. During the past decade, astragalus has been discovered by Western science, and is increasingly being incorporated into nutritional formulas sold in health food shops.
Bookmark and Share
Blog Directory
Blog directory


Jobs available

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Grand Rounds is Up

It's at Sharp Brains this week. Have a look.

Also check out Patients for a Moment at Duncan Cross. This is a collection of posts from patients.

USEFUL FOODS AND SUPPLEMENTS TO CONTROL STRESS.

If you seek a more relaxed lifestyle, you should start by caring for yourself on the inside, and feed your body with good fuel.


When most of us say we are experiencing too much stress, we mean we are overloaded with work, personal problems, and life in general. Of course, a certain amount of stress can be stimulating and even exciting. But when we have stressors without a break, a host of symptoms from irritability and an inability to concentrate to a fast heartbeat, headaches and a reduced resistance to infections can develop. So it's not hard to suspect a causal connection between feeling stressed out and showing physical symptoms.

Useful vitamins and minerals are vitamin c, a good daily dose to take would be 500mg. Vitamin B6,B12,B5. Minerals- Selenium, Iron, Zinc, Iodine, Calcium.

Super health foods are Almonds, Apricots, Avocado, Barley, Beetroot, Broccoli, Carrots, Celery, Cider vinegar, Garlic, Grapes, Kelp, Lecithin, Molasses, Oats, Potatoes, Rabbit, (yes rabbit!!), Spirulina, and wheat germ.

Even if you just add some of these super health foods to your diet, it will help.
Bookmark and Share




Sunday, October 18, 2009

My Father in the Hospital

We, the family, wander the yellow corridors of the ICU, searching for answers. The doctors and nurses turn away as we pass them, looking hard at the clipboards and folders they carry. They know that eye contact will mean a prolonged hallway conversation that will take them away from their real job, their medical job. They know that we will batter them with questions for which no answers exist in this world. Questions that begin with, "What's the probability that....?" or, "How much longer...," or, "how do we know when to stop..."

We hear the sounds of the machines as they beep steadily while dripping brown and white fluids into his veins. We hear the sharp and sudden blast that means one of the many numbers on the monitors we watch with vigilence has gone out of range. Some noises make the nurse come into the room, while others bring a whole platoon armed with new machines. After eight days we understand the rhythm of the machines. They become background music to this dance of dying.

I stand by his side holding his hand. I lean over him stroking his brow. With a soft voice, I take him on journeys to happier days. I tell him about the sweet, cool blue river that flows through him and around him, connecting him to all the healing forces in universe. I tell him he is surrounded by love - love from the people who stand around him now, and love from everyone who has ever loved him. I tell him that all that love enters his body with each breath and makes the waters of that blue river even sweeter.

On October 15 at 10:40 am, my father died. I, my brother, my husband, and Maisie, the woman who had been his caretaker for the past year, were by his side. There were three breathes and then no more.

His rabbi said that he was an "adam shem tov" - a man of good name. He said his death was a holy one.

He taught me about happiness, and he taught me how not to throw a baseball like a girl.

I love you Dad and will always miss you. Have a good passage.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

NATURAL HERB THAT CONTROLS INTERNAL BLEEDING


Capparis Spiosa ( Caper bush ) is an astringent diuretic, expectorant herb that is regarded as a stimulating tonic. It is native to tropical and subtropical regions.


As a herbal remedy, the parts used are the root bark, flower buds and fruits. Internally Capparis is used for gastrointestinal infections, diarrhoea, skin problems, fragile capillaries, internal bleeding, gout, and rheumatism. Externally for eye infections.

Bookmark and Share








Monday, October 12, 2009

LOWERING BLOOD PRESSURE USING SELF HELP.

Acupressure can be used as a self help technique for promoting health and balance and thus preventing disease and disorder. It is a way of providing pressure, gently at first and gradually increasing the pressure on various acupoints.

Acupoint K1 is a third of the way down the sole of the foot, in the depression below the ball of the foot, in line with the third toe in from the little toe.

Providing pressure here, twice a day for about 60 seconds on each occasion can regulate blood pressure, clear the mind and relieves hot flushes.

Bookmark and Share


Submit

Sunday, October 11, 2009

My Father is Moving On

He is very ill and yet still shows his loving essence. It's been a terribly sad and a terribly sweet time. Does that make sense? Our thinking and emotions have such a clarity to them. Luckily we all have a quick and twisted sense of humor we can rely on to bring a smile to his face and a breath of clean air into the hospital room.

Looks like we're saying good-bye to him.

Thank you for your good thoughts - we need them.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

I'm taking a bit of a break

My father is the hospital ICU. My husband, brother, and I are by his side. I'm going to take a hopefully short break from blogging. Send good thoughts our way. And thank you all for reading and for your wonderful, honest comments.

Friday, October 9, 2009

IS THERE NATURAL TREATMENT FOR LUNG CANCER


Deguelin is a natural plant extract and is used as an insecticide in Africa and South America. In studies it seems to prevent the growth of cancerous lung cells and it does this without harming normal cells.

Deguelin has been very effective to inhibit the growth of lung cancer. It is an inhibitor of AKT or protein kinase B, and this has been recognized as a molecule that spreads over the tumor cell, Deguelin contains a none toxic effect, However, if patients overdose it may cause nerve damage, lung and heart disease, so that a reasonable dose should be taken even if it is a natural substance.






Bookmark and Share
Health Blogs
Health blogs & blog posts

Thursday, October 8, 2009

HELP FOR ALZHEIMERS DISEASE


The Alzheimer's Association has developed a list of ten warning signs of Alzheimer's disease:

* Memory loss that affects job skills.
* Difficulty in performing familiar tasks.
* Problems with language.
* Confusion about time and place.
* Poor or diminished judgment.
* Problems with abstract thinking.
* Misplacing of things.
* Changes in mood or behavior.
* Changes in personality.
* Loss of initiative.

Natural help is available for Alzheimer's disease. Choline is a lipotropic B vitamin which emulsifies fats and helps to transport fat globules to cells. It is needed for nerve transmission. Choline reduces cholesterol and maintains a healthy liver,kidneys and nerves. It also reduces oestrogen thus decreasing breast lumps and menstrual cramps. It is also used in the treatment of Alzheimer's disease and to improve the memory.

Vitamin E can also be useful. A recent study has shown that a daily dose of 2000 i.u. of vitamin E can slow the deterioration of Alzheimer's.

Vitamin B12 is also known to help.

See my earlier post about how coffee has been reported as being helpful to treat Alzheimer's disease.












Bookmark and Share
blog search directory
Blog Directory
TopOfBlogs
Health Blogs
blog directory
Top Blogs - Increase SEO of Your Blog, Blogging Resources

Monday, October 5, 2009

USE THESE AMAZING SAYINGS TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE

  1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
  2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
  3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
  4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch..
  5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
  6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
  7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
  8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
  9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
  10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
  11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
  12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
  13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
  14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
  15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
  16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
  17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
  18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
  19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else
  20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
  21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
  22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
  23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
  24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
  25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
  26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
  27. Always choose life..
  28. Forgive everyone for everything.
  29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
  30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
  31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
  32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
  33. Believe in miracles.
  34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
  35. Don't audit life.. Show up and make the most of it now.
  36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
  37. Your children get only one childhood.
  38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
  39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
  40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
  41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
  42. The best is yet to come….
  43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
  44. Yield.
  45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
    Bookmark and Share



Thursday, October 1, 2009

A Pain Flare Up

This week I had what many pain communities call a "flare up." My father is very ill and that tipped me over the line.

But that phrase, flare up, is too polite for me. I think a spike in pain deserves a more militant, aggressive, even violent nom de guerre. Because it is a guerre (French for war), after all. A fight in which pain plays dirty.

This enemy, pain, sneaks across my threshold, disguised at first as a wee bit of pressure. Then once it has positioned itself deep inside my core, it digs in and brings out its weapons.

It has long spears and axes, clubs and tiny daggers. It pounds and stabs in an irregular beat, which makes it unpredictable and dangerous. Soon the intervals between beatings diminishes. The pain becomes constant. Nowhere to hide.

Pain's most foul weapon is fear. Fear is the guerrilla warrior. It hides inside the pain, like a stealth poison, and then slowly infiltrates. It fills all the spaces pain does not reach. It latches onto the breath and grows with each inhalation. It squeezes the heart into a tight ball and fills the minds with images of a dark, bleak forever.

I despise pain; yet it is part of me. I want to wake up one day and find a note on my pillow from pain. The note says, "So long and thanks for the ride." Then I get to go back to a life of blissful ignorance where pain is a dying dream that some alternate version of me once had.

LEUCINE IS AN ESSENTIAL AMINO ACID

Leucine is one of the essential amino acids fundamental to the utilization of protein in the body. It is also one of the three branched chain amino acids and as such is used to build and repair muscle tissue. It is also recommended for convalescence after a period of being bed-ridden.
Since Leucine lowers blood sugar levels, it must be taken in moderation as it can adversely affect hypoglycaemia.
Bookmark and Share
Dr.5z5 Open Feed Directory





http://ping.fm/JegxC
 

health-think Copyright © 2012 -- Powered by Blogger